Stay at Home Wife… It’s not old fashioned but a PASSION.

It’s official. I’m a Stay at Home Wife {SAHW}. Of course I’m hoping that a promotion is coming my way to Stay at Home Mom {SAHM}. But for now, my job description is everything but parenting.

I finished up my last day at my paying job yesterday. I’ve always had a hard time transitioning from job to job. Not that it’s an unwelcome change but it’s a stressful one. I’m the personality that likes to take care of everyone. So, when changes like this happen, I usually squeeze out as much of my sanity as possible to support both my old and new employer. Typically that means working way overtime to get it all done for both employers. Yuk!

This time is different. I only had the one old employer and am now transitioning to Brooks & Jil’s Household, LLC. You guys, I’m not going lie… I am TERRIFIED!!!

I’ve been working since my family moved to Ashland, VA on a little farm outside the town limits. I’ve been earning a paycheck since I was 15. I worked just under full-time at a local Barnes & Noble while maintaining close to full-time status at college. Once out of college, I worked over full-time for employers and ourselves.

I’ve always been a contributor to our household budget and have always been accountable to a boss. I know in my heart earning a paycheck is not my identity but trust me, I’ve never felt more like a fish out of water. Like a teenager at that awkward stage of crackling voices, a face full of pimples and high water jeans just because we can’t stop growing.

I’ve been living like a woman who has defined her life around her ability to make money. I’ve been duped.

Seriously, it’s no wonder my health has been failing me. I truly believe we are all called and obligated to work. To care for our families. To contribute to society and the human race through our skills and abilities to work.

But I’m just not convinced we are supposed to kill our body in the process. I’m learning that for me it doesn’t mean that I MUST earn a paycheck. Lord willing, I want to be doing something I’m passionate about! There needs to be balance and prioritization. I think we have forgotten about this and our priorities have gotten out of whack.

I can’t speak for everyone but I am certain that the biggest hinderance of work/life balance and the inability to make any substantial life changes (such as a career move) is due to our lifestyle. We want what we want when we want it. Not enough people are willing to make the sacrifices necessary in order to make the equally imperative life changes.

When I think about the new cars, the gargantuan homes, the shopping and don’t even get me started on the lost art of cooking at home, it literally grieves my soul. Since when are the luxuries more important than families??? More important than our sanity and the nurturing of our capabilities?

I digress…

Brooks and I knew this is what we were supposed to do. Here recently, he’s had to be the encourager in the relationship. Because of my fear of this change and the awkwardness of being at home and not earning a paycheck, he’s had to hold my hand over the last couple days as my final day as an employed worker got closer.

It is requiring us to make SUBSTANTIAL sacrifices in our financials. But, at the same time we are gaining so much more. Leading up to this, on the days when I worked at home, Brooks and I found ourselves to be the happiest. My BEST WORK over the last year has been done here in this house.

We are so excited for our next chapter! Even though it is one of the scariest financial moves we’ve ever made, the joy surrounding us as we make these moves is awesome. Faith is belief in the things unseen. We are living by faith in more than one area of our life. It’s making us stronger. I like that.

And let’s face it, where else is it completely acceptable to flirt with your coworker…😘  Thinking about the positives here people.

Related Posts:

Choose One: Stay at Home or IVF?

How to Thrive as a SAHW or WAHW

Established: How We Attain Our Goals

Breaking Free From Social Media

12 responses

  1. Tracie A Smith Avatar

    Kudos to you dear for doing what is best for you abd your husband. I can tell it wasn’t an easy decision.👏

  2. Gloria Avatar

    Just read your post. Hope it’s going well staying-at-home. I didn’t get married until 33 years old (in 1993) and worked for 17 years until I finally quit my job (in 1995) and came home as my job was very stressful. Within a year of being at home I got pregnant and now our daughter is 23 years of age. I have been home for 24 years now and love being at home. I wouldn’t have traded being at home with an outside job. I know what both are like and my place is at home. This is how God made me. I’m so grateful that I could raise our daughter, home school her and still be here for my family all these years. Also my mother was in a nursing home for many years and I could tend to her needs and visit her all the time too. It’s much better for a wife and mother to be at home to look after her family. This is God’s way. God bless you as you walk this road. You won’t regret it!

  3. M K Avatar

    Thank you!!! I’ve know in my heart of hearts all I wanted to be and what God almighty intended me to be was s mother n housewife. I was for 18 + years. Started working outside the home, about that long ago now. So now comes the time to retire. God blessed me with one of the best jobs in our area. But pension will be considerly less. Your post has reafirmed that it will be the best thing for me to do. God has always taken care of my family m me. He will continue to do so. Now I need the courage to follow thru with it.

  4. Lona Avatar

    Yes I jumped out of the work force and retired early. I had worked since being 13 tasseling corn. I was a single mom for many years. Worked two jobs many times. But after marrying my second husband my health stared acting up. I worked at an incredibly stressful court job. Every time I went to the doctor I was told “you probably should quit your job” after about the fourth specialist. My husband and I discussed if it was really worth my entire paychecks going for prescriptions and doctors Then they closed our building for mold and asbestos. I knew there was something wrong. But then we decided it was better if I just retired. I have never regretted it. We got or rid of a car. So we only need one. And I have never been happier and I feel so much better. I begged GOD to help us. My image of this….he pulled me out of a swanp, by my hair, dusted me off and let me live again.
    I’ve got a little retirement. But we are making it. I know this was GODS plan for us. I am a homemaker. I’ve never been more content or pleased with what I do.

    1. Jil Davis Avatar

      I love it! Throughout the years I’ve had some moments of wrestling with God myself. He always wins though. Haha His ways are not my ways and I can’t fathom the plans He has for me.

  5. Carolyn Avatar

    I Understand being terrified ! I quit my job three months ago and have been working since I was 15 as well! We decided to do this for the same reasons. Our house wasn’t being taken care of, home cooked dinner was falling by the wayside, we have six chickens a garden and a greyhound as welI! I have to say it has been a lot of work but it pays off so much. My husband is older than I am and has three older children two of which live with us on top of it! I have to say the mood of the house is less stressful, I have time to feed everyone, take care of my family, the house, the landscape, the garden and the animals. I’m happier and I work harder than I did at my job outside of the home! It’s very rewarding. You’ll love it !?

    1. Jil Davis Avatar

      Hi Carolyn! Yes, it has been such an experience. We are quickly approaching a year into the decision and wow what a ride. There have been some scary times financially and I also went through a season of doubt. I found myself wondering about my purpose? It was weird. I think the decision had changed my life so much that it caused a bit of ruckus. But, the Lord just said to be still. So still I was. 🙂 And now, I am seeing things plug right into place. Like you, it’s been so great getting all of my responsibilities taken care of! Whew! Jil

      1. Carolyn Avatar

        That’s great ?

  6. Mrs. Patrick H. Avatar

    I have been here sister! We made the choice for me to be at home to take care of the family, something I used to do in my previous marriage. However in my previous marriage, we made substantially more money than my husband and I do. I have been the primary breadwinner for my family, so my choice to stay home meant a HUGE hit to our finances. We now make less than 15k/year. Is it tough? YES. OMG YES. We don’t get to go out a lot, and usually when we do his parents are the ones treating us. We mostly live with the necessities, but let me tell you, we are so much happier than we have ever been! It all works out <3

    1. Jil Davis Avatar

      Absolutely! It continues to be so incredibly difficult to make ends meet. We have a lot of reasons to be bummed about our finances. We want so bad to be financially secure – 6 month emergency fund, mortgage free, investing regularly, etc. It would be great to have some spending money, too! But, despite all that, every time we try to make moves to have me work part time (something we were reconsidering doing a couple months ago when our IUI failed) God directly blocked all of the doors! It wasn’t due to anything wrong with me or my resume. I have a sellable skills, reputation, etc. But, literally, God picked us up and put us in a different direction. If you can imagine a parent watching their little baby crawling towards the stairs and they run over to grab them and set them back where they are supposed to be, that was us. That’s what happened. So, neat. I need to write a post about it!

      As scary as it is for us to be in this [very, very] uncomfortable financial condition, it is obvious that we are right were we need to be. It’s not what I want financially but it’s most definitely what the Lord had in mind – for whatever reason? Ultimately, it’s where I want to be. I just wish the finances were more promising. 😉

  7. Janice Avatar

    Well put! I am excited for you both and will continue to pray for a smooth transition into your new role. God never calls to what he has not equipped is to do. ?

    1. Jil Davis Avatar

      Yes! We are learning trust in this new life for sure!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Latest Posts