Where on earth has the time gone? I shared with my husband not too long ago that I have been itching to write. My latest chapter in life coming to a close, a new one starting up and I was ready. So ready.
I logged into my blog account this morning to take down a few words, get some plug-in updates done, and check in on things when I saw it…
my last post was dated June 5th 2018. Wait, what!?!? A whole year has gone by and I haven’t written anything.
The truth? It started out as writer’s block which led to my praying about shutting down the blog. I figured this part of my ministry was over but the Lord never gave me clarity on that notion. So, I just let my website simmer.
Then, that turned swiftly into an unexpected chapter of God’s work in His garden. By that, I mean pruning. If you’re a gardener you know that when pruning a branch it leaves a spot that’s open and raw. It takes time for it to callus over. That has been me for the latter part of this process. Damaged, raw, exposed, and yet, unbeknownst to me, in a much better state with the promise of new growth to come.
These notes from one of my bibles say it best [John 15:2}:
‘Jesus made a distinction between two kinds of pruning:… Separating and… Cutting Back. Fruitful branches are cut back to promote growth. In other words, God must sometimes discipline us to strengthen our character and faith. But, branches that don’t bear fruit are cut off at the trunk because not only are they worthless, but they often infect the rest of the tree.”
About the time of my last post in summer 2018, I knew God was leading me into a dark and difficult time of life. I knew He was about to prune up the work that was being done in and through me molding me more & more into the image of Christ as He promised to do. To be honest, I was scared and excited at once. I knew there were some aspects of my life that were not fitting into where I was headed. I needed to get rid of them.
But, I didn’t expect pruning in other areas and THAT’S where things got painfully difficult. I was blindsided and it pushed me into a depression so thick it was hard to breathe. In my faith walk, I’ve never doubted my existence. But, that’s the brevity of what happened. The loss of those corners of my world were hard to let go of.
Reasons for this specific pruning and cutting varied. Some of it made me realize I was forgetting God in those spaces. Some of it I found innocence on my part but it was a portion of my life that was doing me and the work no good. Some because I was duped and misled and God hated that. And some were the closing of good things but were not necessary for our next chapter.
That last one makes me think of Paul in his missionary journeys; remembering those who helped him, loved on him, and he had fond memories of. But, these things and/or people were not needed for his next work. They were now experiences for encouragement and remembrance.
It took a year for me to move through that process of pruning and cutting back and then to even marginally recover from it. I guess you could call it a sabbatical. Though I think that term usually has a more positive perception to it. Like it’s a vacation. But, that’s not what this was. I’ve been waiting for the Lord to restore my ministry work. It’s time.
So, here I sit with words to write, excitement to share, and words of wisdom to impart. I am eager to get going, to get back into my grind, pray for you, hear your experiences, and push back the darkness of this world that so easily ensnares us.
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