Forgiveness has never been my strong suit. I’ve been breathing on this earth for just shy of 40 years which means I’ve endured plenty of offenses and assaults, including bullies in school and being a working woman in male-dominated industries. It’s pretty nasty out there and there are plenty of reasons to harden myself towards humanity.
But, through it, God “trained” me to stand firm, hold to the truth, and develop endurance.
So, when Zera arose to her dominant state, I was already rigid enough to withstand the blows. I had learned to wear my armor [Ephesians 6] which meant her firey darts were bouncing right off. I’ll never forget the very moment that she spoke something so incredibly heinous and it literally didn’t phase me other than to think, “Did she really just say that?”.
There was a “shield of faith” positioned between me and her that she couldn’t penetrate. Watching that happen fed my faith and was evidence of God going before me and being between me and my enemy.
"But now thus says the Lord,
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, YOU ARE MINE.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you..."
Isaiah 43:1-2
This is what it is to belong to the Lord. To be saved by grace and grace alone. To once be lost but now found. To be wandering + alone but now surrounded. To be weak, angry, and unkempt but now strong, vigilant, and protected.
Zera, at least for now, has gotten away with her crime. But, because of the Lord’s work to soften my heart and give me the right view of the situation, I have forgiven her.
As good as it feels to be in the position as the one who is offended, to be right, or innocent, it is incredibly important to be humble. I believe that is where forgiveness originates and grows. Through humility.
Aren’t I Better Than You? NO!
I have a SUPER embarrassing story to tell you… golly, it is embarrassing. But, necessary to this story of growth + forgiveness… [insert a long, lamenting sigh here…]
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